Self Reflection

So, this morning my mother and I were talking... she said that my step-father remembered a place they forgot to take me while visiting. Then, she said "Maybe this year? On your honeymoon?" I said, "I'm definitely not staying at my mother's on my honeymoon! Also, I have to find a guy first." Which led into to her telling me that I'm mellowing out. I said, "How so?" She then informed me that I use to be a lot more intense. Which, I was still curious as to what she was thinking. She told me that everything had to be Perfect, I had to have the right shoes and my hair had to be exactly in the right spot. Buying my own clothes etc. in college definitely made that side of me change a little. (Which brings up another topic of being ungrateful... that's a whole topic on it's own.) She also likes me a lot more now. My brother-in-law just laughed at my mother's remarks and my sister said that she does not think I've mellowed out, she just thinks, I see things a little more realistic.  

This tied in with my thoughts while watching Grey's Anatomy this morning. I could give you the background of what triggered these thoughts but I'll spare you. If you watched the new episode this week, you'll know. I was thinking about, in high school, I think my jr year, I changed. I don't know why or what happened, but my attitude changed. I use to be happy 24/7 and didn't let things faze me. I was up for anything and ALWAYS having fun. I think a lot of it had to do with having a best friend that lived less than 5 minutes away and always having someone I enjoyed to hang out with. Someone, that I always wanted to hang out with. It didn't matter what we were doing. Unfortunately, people change and I don't know what has happened to that Alana. Yeah, you may think that that is the Alana you know... a lot of times I am but it's not the same. There's a lot more but you get the point. Also, New Jersey is not the place for me.